DISCLAIMER: Any similarity to my actual place of employment is pure and absolute coincidence. The end.

8 a.m. — New day, same chingaderas.

8:30 a.m. — This isn’t so bad.

8:45-9:15 a.m. — Time for the almost-daily walk for coffee. (Okay, fine. More like for-sure daily.)

10 — Shit starts to hit the fan. But just a little bit of shit.

11 a.m. — Your always-reliable source for juicy chisme tells you the latest 411 on the office telenovela. And you’re ready to hear it all and then some!

12–1 p.m. — Shit’s still hitting the fan but it’s lunch time so you feel like you’re untouchable …
kinda.

1 p.m. — You get back to work and realize shit’s still cray. And you get a little bit overwhelmed and lose it for .5 seconds.

2 p.m. — You get a ridiculously written email requesting some cray shit … which you already did yesterday.

2:30 p.m. — You’re just chilling for a bit and then all of a sudden your boss walks by, so you have to act like you’re being productive AF.

3 p.m. — The inevitable food comma arrives and you crash mad hard.

3:30 p.m. — You may or may not have been done with your work since 2 p.m., so now you’re just googling useless information to store in your already-to-capacity brain. Thanks, internet machine!

4 p.m. — It’s almost over and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

4:30 p.m. — The longest half an hour of your life … every single time.

5 p.m. — ABSOLUTE SWEET FREEDOM!

Then you go home and get ready to do it all over again the next day!

-V